Why am I being punished?

Last night was a tough one for both me and Richie. So apparently I had an ovio-hysterectomy; I don't know what that means, but I do know that I was in a lot of discomfort. Richie stayed with me in the basement, and when I wasn't sleeping, he would try to comfort me. I tried to lick away the irritating feeling in my tummy, but Richie would keep stopping me.

In the morning, Christine went off and came back with this thing - believe me, I am not the life of the party with this lampshade on. I'm unable to take it off, and I also can't get to my backside anymore. What have I done to deserve this?

Mischa